rant

So, I started blogging a few months back on Myspace. I began with rants about winter because last winter was terrible and long. I also kinda vented regarding our current status in this great country. My thoughts and reasoning for dumping my gallery and living space/studio were to leave that life and get out of debt. I unfortunately accumulated a scarey amount living "at the line" and such. I was very happy to announce to a few friends and family that I got out of credit card debt about a month ago. I was 9 G + on three cards and it was getting worse. SO I did the only thing I could think of, move out of the city for a while, stash my belongings in my parents garage and live there, in my car, on the road, at my friends house, in my tent, etc.

I guess the thing I am currently frustrated with is getting out of debt and then still paying fees. You see, my first bout began when I paid my Visa off. I was shocked that the next month, I had a bill for the interest that came from the month before or something. So, I called and yelled, they explained and promised that no more fees would acrue after that. Well, Since then, I have paid off a total of 3 cards and lots of $$ and the fees are still there. I must have paid over $220 in bullshit fees now. So, tomorrow, I shall cancel them all for good. I still do not understand where this shite (Scottish accent) is coming from. I look on the card and a $1.50 fee will be there and the next month $41.50 because I did not pay this freakin' dollar on time. I thought I was paid in full but NOT> I wanted to leave them open just in case I got a terminal disease and needed to leave the country to get descent health care.

How is it that your home loan can be sold to bank after bank? What happened to the local banker that everyone hated but at the end of the story stopped being scrooge? Why is it that we are suddenly going through this oil crisis? They knew we only had so much oil in the world 50 years ago when 57 Chevys were still on the showroom. Why the FUCK did they not begin to conserve fuel then. They had the technology but just kept on making money. And we (our parents and grandparents, and children) fueled it and continue to fuel it. My blog is literally a fossil fuel conservation nightmare. It is a conflicting thing to complain about this and then drive all over the country just to skateboard. I should note that after living in this Red Neck town for a while I would get certain looks when i would pull up to the gas station in my mini or fit. These dudes in the FWD would want to spit at me. But now, no, they are all driving shitboxes too. Kinda odd. I remember this one ripper guy that snaked us all day at 4 Seasons was ripping on my "girl" car. 37 MPG baby. Who's laughing now? Niether of us, we are all screwed. I really wish I could convert to solar or something.

This guy from the Hut at Wilson started a buisness doing Hydro conversions. Yes, Hydro or water. He claims that this little mod would convert the water into Hydrogen and your car would be a hybrid of gas/hydrogen? The car would get up to 50% more MPG. I am not sure if this is legit or not so I am afraid to do the conversion. I am sure that would void the warranty they swindled me into as well...

I see this great time as one that we are running out of. One that may be resolved or may not. Time could be running out for America. Gas could be $7 a gallon and then what? Get it while you can? But is that not what the Oil Barrons said also? Why is Hummer now up for sale by General Motors? Why was Bush re-elected or even allowed to hold office in the first place?? I voted both times so I did my part. I remember the words of John Kerry, "Wake Up America"!!

Why do Iphones suck so much if they are going in like 80 countries? The 3G thing only works in big cities and the battery sucks to begin with and you can't replace it. Plus they want to charge $200 a month to use the damn thing. Are we being used? Why have we been so stupid? Why was I so stupid to buy into the idea of having a nice life. I remember when that damn Ipod first came out, it was like $500 and was 5 or 10 gigs. It changed everything we know about storing and listening to music. It changed pop and consumer culture forever. They should be free - I could use one for work/travel, etc. Make me an untrendy one that just does the job and I'll be happy.

When I first got my teaching job the first thing I bought (besides decent clothes to wear to work) was that Fucking Ipod. I should say that I used the money from my last portrait commission to buy it. But it was only the beginning of spending. You see when a life long dirtbag artist/musician/skateboarder finally gets a real job, he has to go through a transition. The first thing is a haircut, cover the tattoos (if he has them), re-learn the English language (try not to say killer, stoked, dude, dip, fuck yeah, heka tight, etc) and look somewhat respectible. It really did not work so well for me, the clothes I wore to my interview were all borrowed but somehow they hired me. But eventually your first year of tenure kicks in and you get hazed by all the full professors. They tell you to wear a tie every day or you wont get tenure, and the VP makes you do all these public engagements to show the fresh meat off to the community. It is kinda odd and you are expected to have all this shit, so how do you suddenly get it all? -- charge -- and the laptop that you have to write thousands of pages of curriculum on and tenure portfolio and memos and all the stuff that goes on the first 3 years. So for me, getting a job kinda got me into debt. And it snowballed from there. I actually thought that since I was getting a regular pay check I could finally afford stuff like my buddies that do construction always did. New car, house, toys, you name it!! WRONG!!!

It was all so exciting at first and getting that Ipod made me the cool teacher - but now it is a monster and I use the monster every day. Why are we soooooo materialistic? America the consumer, the capitalist, is this really what we want to be remembered for? It is too late I guess. The American Dream is unobtainable now. But if you go back to 1950's standards then maybe it still is. People had one TV, a small ranch house with 2-3 modest bedrooms, 1 car, a car port, a wife, a dog and a couple of kids... Why do you need a house bigger than Tony Soprano and all of this stuff. People are living the way millionares did in the 1980's. What is a nice life? A lot of those super sized houses are gonna be empty soon.

I'll tell you, my idea of a nice life is a lot different than it was a few years ago (fancy chairs, flat screen TVs, fancy dinners, pretty city girls that you have to buy things for) thats fo' sho'. Buying shit does not make you happy, it just adds to your monthly minimum payment. I just got a new battery for my old ass G4 Ibook. I am gonna use it until it just does not work no mo' I charged that one too. But at least I finally own it.

So this is my new thing, I only pay cash for stuff. I don't buy stuff that I do not need. The product has to have a real purpose in my art, music or general survival... and of course, skateboard stuff. But I won't buy BS that is not needed, I make my own shirts, my hats cost $3 instead of $25. The only thing I really spend $$ on is shoes but you must take care of your feet and ankles. Inferior shoes could lead to you the hospital. I am out of Credit Card debt and I am now trying to save for a down payment on a barn.